Kendra E. Ardnek - Water Princess, Fire Prince

Water Princess, Fire Prince
The Rizkaland Legends


By Kendra E. Ardnek


Available on Amazon

Product Description (from Amazon)

When the Lady Dragon does come,

Hold fast, do not fear, do not run.

Your Water Princess will fight

Fire Prince will set all to right

Each shall come from a fall

Their Union will save you all.

Despite the fact that she's on track for competing in the Olympics, and he's practically raised his younger brothers since they lost their mom in a car accident, Clara Mandras and Andrew Stevenson are pretty much normal teens. They have normal hopes, normal dreams, and they live in a normal world.

All this is torn away from them when they are thrust into another world and declared Water Princess and Fire Prince. With no experience ruling a country, meeting each other for the first time, and being expected to fight the Lady Dragon – an evil sorceress plaguing the world of Rizkaland – Clara and Andrew are underprepared and inexperienced. Unless they learn to work together despite their standing opposition, Rizkaland's hope will be lost.

What is to come will change their lives forever.

About the Author (from Amazon)

Kendra E. Ardnek has been writing her own stories since she was a toddler. She fell in love with books, drama, and fairy tales at a very young age - and has been filling notebooks with her stories for years. Joining NaNoWriMo gave her an opportunity to be a published author at 16.

She writes her own blog (knittedbygodsplan.blogspot.com), homeschools, cooks, knits, and crafts when she isn't writing stories and acting them out with her younger cousins and siblings.

O.Scarlett! REVIEW by Tenya

This is a well-crafted story by a maturing author about young people who are snatched from reality and thrust through a portal into a fantasy world which is dependent upon them for its very survival.  The book is full of spiritual allegory and symbolism which gives the tale another facet of meaning that goes deeper than the mere plot.  Miss Ardnek has created a truly unique and fantastical realm from the topography of the land and many colors of water to the somewhat frightening and fantastic wildlife and varied people groups which inhabit this place called Klarand, an island in Rizkaland.  This world is populated by magical creatures, elves, awesome flying and talking equines, and some particularly fascinating bug children, along with one curiously illusive time traveler.

The description of the land, animals, and people unfolds piece-by-piece throughout the story which prevents one from becoming bogged down with too much descriptive narrative all at once, a fault which makes some fantasy books difficult to wade through as a reader.  The main characters are also revealed layer-upon-layer by the author which is a good writing ploy to slowly introduce the reader to the strengths and weaknesses of each while naturally peeling back the surface to demonstrate the metamorphoses necessary for the main characters to become the Legends (what histories are called in Rizkaland) for which all the inhabitants of Rizka have been anxiously awaiting.  Experiencing the changes of each character, not just the main characters, but supporting cast as well, is one of the most enjoyable parts of the story because it gives a tangible human element to the book to which a reader can intimately relate.

Clara, the Water Princess, is a confident, sporty, and athletically talented young woman who is presented as no-nonsense and even arrogant at the beginning of the book.  The Fire Prince, Andrew, on the other hand, lacks a bit of confidence particularly in physical pursuits and with girls, but he has other talents, particularly on the practical and scientific side of things.  Together, Clara and Andrew must save Klarand from the evil Lady Dragon who has ravaged the land for years.  Therein lays the problem, this togetherness matter.  The Legends speak of it taking BOTH the Water Princess and Fire Prince to defeat the dragon, and Andrew and Clara must learn to work together as one to accomplish the daunting task and win the battle which lies ahead of them.

The romance between the main characters is handled beautifully by the author with just the right push and pull to keep drawing the reader into the mix.  The deep understanding of marriage and relationship is approached maturely by this young author.  There is nothing about the romance which could be embarrassing or inappropriate for any reader, but this reviewer would only recommend the book for middle school age through adult because some of the relationship issues are a bit complicated and may need a more mature understanding.  This differs from Kendra Ardnek’s Bookania series, which I would highly recommend as family reading.

It is true that by the fourth or fifth chapter of this book, I had difficulty putting it down.  There is a lot to be said for that as I have been known to give up on books because they ‘bore’ me.   If you like fantasy and symbolism, Water Princess, Fire Prince is a going to thrill you!

And, this is only Book 1 of the Rizkaland Legends!

Genre/Theme: Portal Fantasy, Christian

Reading Level: TEEN - upper elementary to middle school to
Mature TEEN - high school to college 
Profanity: NONE - no offensive language 
Sexuality: MILD - descriptions of affection/desire - Handholding, hugging, kissing, discussion of holding off on more serious stuff.
Other: 
There is some fighting, characters do get injured. 

Jaye L. Knight - The King's Scrolls

The King's Scrolls
The Ilyon Chronicles


By Jaye L. Knight


Available on Amazon




Product Description (from Amazon)

Following the harrowing events that brought them to Landale Forest, Jace and Kyrin have settled comfortably into their new lives and the mission of protecting those under the emperor’s persecution. The fast approach of winter brings with it the anticipation of a quiet few months ahead. That is until the arrival of four mysterious, dragon-riding cretes who seek aid in a mission of great importance—not only to their own people, but to all followers of Elôm.

Hidden in the vast mining valley north of Valcré, a faithful crete has spent years sharing his knowledge with the destitute miners and their families and is known to possess what may be Arcacia’s last surviving copies of the King’s Scrolls—the Word of Elôm. Joining the cretes, those in Landale must find the crete teacher and bring him to safety, but it is a race against time. Should Daican’s men find him first, execution and the destruction of the Scrolls is certain.

When disaster strikes, all seems lost. Could Elôm have a plan even in the enemy’s triumph?

About the Author (from Amazon)

Jaye L. Knight is a mid-twenties homeschool-graduated indie author with a passion for writing Christian fantasy and clean new adult fiction. Armed with an active imagination and love for adventure, Jaye weaves stories of truth, faith, and courage with the message that even in the deepest darkness, God's love shines as a light to offer hope. She has been penning stories since the age of eight and resides in the Northwoods of Wisconsin.

O.Scarlett! REVIEW by Kendra

I'm honestly not sure where to start with this review. I've loved Jaye's books since she was Molly Evangeline, and her Ilyon Chronicles are next to the Chronicles of Narnia for my favorite fantasies - even after having read one book. I didn't know how book two could be any better, but when Jaye asked if I would review it for her, I naturally jumped at the opportunity.

I had NO idea what would happen in the book, but had assumed that the plot of looking for the mysterious Crete and the scrolls he possesses, would be most of it. I was wrong, they actually found him fairly early on. This is a story of the importance of scripture, its value in strengthening a Christian's walk, as I had anticipated, but it was also the story of how God is still in control even when  things are spiralling into a mess and seem to be going horribly wrong.

The characters in this book were amazing, both the ones that we already knew from the first book, and the new faces. Jace and Kyrin are adorable, and I had a moment of hyperventilation when her father asked what the status of their relationship was. Kaden was so wonderfully protective of Kyrin, and I loved the fact that he got a dragon of his own in this book. I was expecting him to do that some time in the series, but not quite this soon. Technically, other characters received dragons, but Kaden's the only one who matters. And I loved the scenes with Prince Daniel. Poor fellow, I hope he finds Elom, and soon!

As for new characters, I loved the Cretes, especially Tallas and Timothy. They were both so sweet, each in their own way. Leetra was very interesting, and even though she rather annoyed me at the beginning, by the end, she'd grown on me. Also, I loved getting to know Kyrin's family. Kaden's still my favorite of her brothers (because he's her twin, and twins are awesome) but they're all amazing, each in their own way.

The villains were amazing as well, the sort that you just have to hate, though feel sorry for at the same time.

If there is any complaint I have, it's that one of my favorite characters died (can't say who, though!). I was in denial until the last moment, and even several moments after that, as I hoped and prayed that someone would be able to rescue him in time. BUT ... it was necessary to the plot, and really, in this genre, it's not realistic for characters to not die. After everyone survived book one, I knew that someone would have to go down in book two ... didn't keep me out of denial, however.

Also, I got lost a bit in some of the action sequences, particularly at the end ... but action sequences get me lost frequently, so it probably was just me. The end itself was so very sweet, and I'm really looking forward to book 3, whenever it comes out.

Note: I recommend this to anyone who loves Christian fantasy, or inspirational stories of life under persecution. There is no magic, if that's something that you watch out for.

Genre/Theme: Fantasy, Christian, Persecution

Reading Level:  TEEN - upper elementary to middle school to
Mature TEEN - high school to college 
Profanity: NONE - no offensive language 
Sexuality: NONE - not even hinted at 
Other: 
Characters die, get whipped, get burned by dragons, and are otherwise injured 

Jack Lewis Baillot - Stretch of Loyalty

A Stretch of Loyalty
Because of Loyalty Trilogy


By Miss Jack Lewis Baillot


Kindle Edition Currently Unavailable

Product Description (from Amazon)

Prince Lachlan's only crime is that he is the youngest son of the king, a selfish man who took what he wanted no matter the cost. Now Lachlan's life is in danger because his father's last law was that the last of his sons left living will be the new king.

Lachlan's half brothers are determined to get rid of him first before they work on killing each other, but their plans are foiled when Lachlan is saved by a young girl named Magda. Knowing Lachlan would make a better ruler than any of his brothers, Magda flees into the wild, hoping to find help and safety for the boy in one of the neighboring kingdoms. Instead, all Magda finds is rejection.

But help might be closer then she thinks, and it comes in the form of a grumpy, one handed hermit, an elf with a sense of humor, and two dwarf brothers. Together, they might have a chance to save the boy - but what price do you pay to keep a stranger alive? Just how far are they willing to go to make sure he is kept safe?

About the Author (from Amazon)

Jack Lewis Baillot is the author of the Haphazardly Implausible series. She isn't impossible, just a bit unlikely.

You can learn more about her and her writing at her website. http://missjacklewisbaillot.blogspot.com/

O.Scarlett! REVIEW by Kendra

I have the highest respect for this author ... I'm coauthoring a book with her, after all. I thoroughly expected to enjoy this book just as much as her Haphazardly books. However, while I found the theme of the book new and intriguing, the world building was very generic ... which isn't, in itself, a bad thing, but it mainly manifested in huge infodumps of description. The one unique people group that Jack created, I could never quite get a good mental image of because they were described as having the bodies of minotaurs and heads of wolves. I understood the wolf part ... but the body of a minotaur is basically the body of a really strong man. Unless, of course, she was using a different definition of minotaur, of which there was no sign of that in the text. Minotaurs weren't mentioned unless they used as comparison for this people group. 

Plot was great, except for the fact that they managed to run into every monster that wasn't supposed to exist anymore. The first time, it was exciting. The second time, interesting. But the third time ... it was just plain ridiculous and felt like a bid for more words. I also had some issues with the back story, especially concerning Magda's father ... and when, exactly, he died. Hopefully that will be explained in the sequel however. 

The characters were, I'm sure, wonderful, but I was unable to connect, partly because some of them relied on the stereotypes of the fantasy genre, and partly because I had trouble keeping conversations straight. Possibly, had I read the print version, it wouldn't have been so bad. But the kindle version is badly formatted, and I finally came to the conclusion that she must have uploaded a PDF file, which just goes wonky when it is translated into a Mobi. Also, Jack is very good at confusing homonyms. The first time she used "board" instead of "bored," it was funny, because they were on a boat and reminded me of roleplay I was in once. After that, all I could do was cringe every time it happened as I pictured the character described as a piece of lumber. Since I had had the privilege of editing the first few chapters, I had caught several ... but was disappointed to find that the chandelier was still spelled "Chandler." (I was pleased to find that she had corrected most of her then/than misuse, which had been my biggest issue with her first book.)

I am looking forward to the sequel. As I said, the theme was very good, and I honestly have no idea where Jack is going with it, which is always a good thing. Having read so many fantasy books, its hard to find one that I can't determine where the author plans to go with it. But this isn't the story of an epic war (not yet, anyways) it's the story of fugitives hiding a potential king. The message of the Creator is well handled, and I can thoroughly see Stefan's struggle with belief. Personally, I recommend a good combing for homonyms, and an upload in a doc format - from my experience, that's what talks to Kindle the best.

Note: There isn't any real magic in this book, so I recommend it to any fantasy fan who is squeamish about that part of the genre.

Genre/Theme: Fantasy, quests, Christian

Reading Level: CHILD - children's literature to
TEEN - upper elementary to middle school 
Profanity: NONE - no offensive language 
Sexuality: NONE - not even hinted at, although it is mentioned that the King, Lachlan's father, had a different mother for each of his four sons, and he gave up on marriage after his second wife.

Other: Lots of fighting, though not much description. The three older princes are trying to kill their youngest brother, and aren't very particular about who gets hurt in the process.

Molly Evangeline - Courage

Courage
The Makilien Trilogy


By Molly Evangeline


Kindle Edition Available




Product Description (from Amazon)

Determined to follow the will of Elohim, Makilien faces daily threats and hardship. But an even bigger threat is growing. Bent on destroying his opposition once and for all, Zirtan amasses a devastating force to take control of Dolennar. When a dangerous secret comes to light, Makilien, along with her family and Aedan, are thrust into the middle of the struggle.

Faced with an army far outnumbering their own, Makilien and her friends risk everything—injury, captivity, even death—to gather their allies. But in the end, their hope and courage must rest in Elohim. Can the forces of good achieve victory, or will the might of evil prevail? Who will be left to see the end?

About the Author (from Amazon)

Molly Evangeline has been using her active imagination to create stories since she was eight years old, encouraged by her mom's own love for writing. For years she wrote as a pastime until age fifteen when she began writing her first historical Christian novel, The Pirate Daughter's Promise, book one of her Pirates & Faith series. Three years later, it became the first of her books to be published.

Molly credits her success to God and her mom's teaching, guidance, and decision to homeschool her from kindergarten through high school. Since graduating she has actively pursued her independent writing career while living with her family in Wisconsin.

For more information, visit her website: www.mollyevangeline.com

O.Scarlett! REVIEW by Kendra

After reading and reviewing Truth, I offered to read and review the next book in the series, Courage. As soon as I had it, I sent it to my Kindle and settled down to read.

Courage takes place roughly a year after the events of Truth. During the skipped over time, Makilien has been trying to share the Truth that she learned with the people of her native village. However, Zirtan’s men haven’t been too pleased with her doing so. To keep her family safe, she is now living on the edge of the village with Aedan, her childhood friend, the only other person who has openly accepted the Truth.

Of course, intentions don’t always go as planned, and, despite the fact that she is trying to stay as inconspicuous as possible, and to keep her family as out of this as possible, she has been whipped twice and her family … gets arrested and condemned to be burned at the stake. She can’t do anything about it, though, as they’ve captured her as well and are carrying her off to Zirtan.

Cue the return of the friends that she had made during the course of book one. They manage to rescue her and her family, and they help them and two young men escape the village and they go down to the cities that are not under Zirtan’s control to help out in the upcoming battles.

In some ways, I thought this better than the first book, in others … it fell somewhat flat in comparison.

What I thought was better:

Less focus on Makilien. Makilien is still the main character, but, unlike Truth where there was only one scene told from the point of view of someone other than her, I’d say at least half this book was from someone else – usually Aedan or Sirion. I’m not completely in love with Makilien’s character, so I found other points of view a fresh change.

Plot twists that left me gasping. There were several of these. I’d be reading along, with no clue as to what would happen next and POW a plot twist. The plot twists of Truth had been good. The plot twists of Courage were amazing.

I had to put my kindle down to laugh for a full minute at one point. Reading around on Molly’s blog, I discovered that she considers humor to be her weak point, and, after reading Truth, I could see why. It hadn’t been bad. It was just … flat. However, in several scenes in Courage, the humor was nailed, even forcing me to put the kindle down so I could simply laugh. And I don’t do that very often. I tend to be an very unemotional reader.

Leiya,  Makilien’s younger sister. She had been introduced in Truth, but had only been in the first few chapters. It is my personal conviction that every book needs a cute, irrepressible black-haired girl somewhere between six and eleven. I don’t remember if Leiya had black hair or not for certain (I’m thinking it was brown) but other than that, she fit the bill.

Robin Hood showed up! Okay, no he didn’t, just the Robin Hood-like community of Rhûnland. I'm a huge fan of Robin Hood, and, while the people of Rhûnland don't rob from the rich to give to the poor, they do live in the woods and are the finest archers in the land. (Least-ways their bows are the strongest.)

Other women besides Makilien and the dragon take part in the battle. I still am looking for the reason for Makilien to be in battle in the first place (beyond the fact that she wanted to) but at least she’s now not alone.

What I didn’t like:

Repeat. The basic plot, I felt, seemed to be merely a repeat of Truth. Escape Reylaun, travel to Eldor, seek out allies (and make them despite all improbabilities) then fight the war. Also, the gaining of the two allies made in Courage seemed to be repeats of each other. Get arrested by potential allies, thrown into prison, then, when all seems darkest and bleakest, they convince potential allies to be allies through the courage that comes from their faith in Elohim - which is the theme of the book, but the carryout just felt a bit redundant. It wasn’t bad … but it was there. It almost felt as though she were using a formula. However, thanks to how the book ended, I’m hoping that book 3 won’t follow this formula.

The Romance. There wasn’t much, and I had smelled it coming in Truth, and was therefore prepared. But … while it wasn’t the worst romance I’ve ever read … I found Aedan and his love interest rather … sudden and … improbable. Yeah, I can understand it on his part … but hers? They’ve only known each other a few weeks, and she’s one of the elves, who, from what I gathered, seemed to take things slower – especially her. Maybe I missed something there? Makilien and hers … I saw them coming … so really didn’t mind. My biggest issue is I would have preferred it if the two young men had asked the fathers’ permissions. Makilien’s love interest should have, at least. Yeah, I have old fashioned standards.

All in all, I liked this book, and am looking forward to the next book, Trust, which is coming out this fall/winter.

Official website for Makilien:

http://www.makilien.com

Genre/Theme: Christian, Fantasy

Reading Level:  TEEN - upper elementary to middle school 
Profanity:  NONE - no offensive language 
Sexuality:  NONE - not even hinted at, beyond noticing that she is pretty, he is handsome, holding hands, and kissing foreheads.
Other: Quite a bit of fighting, and she doesn’t gloss over the fact that wounds cause blood. Makilien gets a crossbow bolt through her shoulder, one character gets branded … and so on. Not terribly descriptive, but Molly doesn’t hesitated to hurt her characters.

Melissa Douthit - The Firelight of Maalda

The Firelight of Maalda
(Legend of the Raie'Chaelia, Book Two)

by Melissa Douthit

Kindle Edition Available


Product Description
The Firelight of Maalda - for readers age 13 and up.

Story Summary (from Amazon)
The Firelight of Maalda: A story that unites the real with the fantastical and turns science into magic …

Chalice and her group leave Barenthren to travel to Portalis. There she and her friends discover the beautiful city, its people, its history, and its secret that has been kept hidden for thousands of years. During their stay, they learn that Dar’Maalda has the Firestone and that he plans to use it.

What is the Firestone and what does Dar’Maalda plan to do with it? What are the Naezzi? What does the title, The Firelight of Maalda, really mean? And … what is the secret of Portalis, the secret that has been guarded so jealously for so long – so jealously, that many have given their lives to protect it?

In The Firelight of Maalda, the second novel of the trilogy, The Legend of the Raie’Chaelia, you find out. It is a tale of intrigue and wonder where two opposite worlds collide in an explosive journey that leads Chalice and her friends to the dark islands lurking just beyond the horizon of Ielieria, where the Firelight of Maalda sits … and waits.

About the Author (from Amazon book page)
Biography
Melissa Douthit grew up in North County of San Diego, California. After graduating with a Computer Science degree in Southern California, and working for a summer at the National Radio Astronomy Observatory in New Mexico, she moved to the Bay Area to work at NASA Ames Research Center for a year and then at Lawrence Livermore National Lab for another four years. From there, she moved to Monterey, California, to work at the Naval Postgraduate School on a government project for two years. She currently lives in Salt Lake City, Utah, working as a software engineer. Since high school, she has been a voracious reader of books of all genres, with an emphasis in fantasy and science fiction. Her literary work is strongly influenced by her professional experience and includes many elements of her scientific background. You can find out more about Melissa on her website: http://melissadouthit.com


O.Scarlett! REVIEW by Rachel

I've already reviewed the first two books, and I can honestly say, this one shows so much growth by the author.

Gone are the cliché's and the "I'm stuck, grab a book, point to something, work that into the plot" feeling. Melissa's earlier talent is really starting to shine.

I skimmed through several of the earlier reviews on Amazon, and there are some excellent ones.

It took me just over 2 days to finish the book, but I'm a very fast reader. It was a good enough read, that I found myself picking up my Kindle to read every chance that I had, and even neglecting a few responsibilities.

The basic plot

Ben makes a magic "worm hole transporter?" to take the entire city full of prisoners directly from one underground city into their city of destination - once there, anyone who can't be sealed with an oath vow is doomed to never leave the city again - which condemns almost everyone, including Chalice.

Chalice is immediately whisked away to begin her princess duties - and her family and friends are sent down into the other side of the city away from her, because they don't have magic and aren't "good enough" to associate with on a daily basis. This has been especially true since her father disappeared.

Of course this really upsets/angers Chalice. She is one of them, and has always been one of them. The ways of the palace are strange and stifling. But it isn't long before she learns to bend rules, circumvent "authority", and almost bullies her way to the top, making many angry in the process, and surely making quite a few enemies. Besides, somewhere there is a traitor. (Somebody needs to give her a copy of How to Win Friends and Influence People!)

Many secrets are revealed to her (and Jeremiah), about the importance of the city and why there is such a strict separation of the two races of humans, and the history of the earth and the underground cities. Many more questions are asked and not answered.

She contacts her friends at sea to help them with their daring plan ... and then it is a guessing game, wondering whether Chalice and her people are gaining the upper hand, or whether it is all a trick by the wicked usurper King to lull them into a trap.

Only one thing is certain, they must not let the fire beasts be brought to life by the new King and his minions.

Only Chalice can free them. Only Bunjab can control them.
------------------------------------------------------------
Most of the characters develop a great deal during this book. While I'm sure most would applaud Chalice for being a strong bull headed woman, I found this to be a quality that I did not admire. This is probably due to my age and the fact that I have a daughter this age, and wouldn't want her being a bully. Still, she is what she is, and the character is mostly consistent in her presentation - and that is what is important.

Jeremiah's maturity continues to impress me. He has also grown as a character, and balances Chalice's impulsiveness.

I would have loved to have seen a deeper relationship and trust between Chalice and Ben, and have her learn more about her father and siblings. I would also have liked to see her developing relationships with those in the palace - her cousins, some of the guard, and others. Because Chalice never really interacts with these characters, they remain little more than cardboard characters, and the palace a vacant and hollow feeling part of the book.

On the other hand, there is a great deal of the book devoted to her clandestine meetings with Jeremiah. I know that "romance" has become a big seller, but so many books and movies are "ruined" by over indulging the romance crowd. These encounters are not juicy enough to appeal to this crowd, but are frequent enough to be clutter baggage rather than developing the story. I am sure plenty would disagree with me on this point. There are many out there that feel that romance is the only reason to read a book.

Conversations are much improved. I can actually "hear" many of them. Very few felt forced or robotic, as was common in the earlier books. This made this book so much easier to fall in love with and to continue to come back to when it got to rough spots.

Possibly the most glaring rough spots were the way "flashback memories" were handled. The author would state the memory, then copy paste the memory in italics, and then explain the memory. There was only once I felt this was slightly useful, and that is when she reminds us of a short scene that took place very early in the first book, where Bunjab shows us the empty caves where his friends once lived.

All in all, it was a great book, and I look forward to seeing future books. I've chatted briefly with Melissa and she seems eager to learn and develop as an author. With her attitude, a willingness to learn, and brilliant ideas, she has most of the tools to do well. If she can gain an audience, she is sure to succeed.

It is a great joy to me to see anyone develop and stretch their wings, either as an author, or one of my students. I have enjoyed watching Melissa learning to use her wings - and hope to see her soaring soon. I am delighted that Amazon and Kindle have allowed the first time author a chance to throw their hats into the ring and become published authors, and I applaud those willing to place themselves and their work up for dissection, ridicule, and examination.

Genre/Theme: Fantasy, Post Apoctolyptical, Magic
Reading Level: Mature Teen
Profanity: Moderate
Sexuality: Obvious
OTHER: Jeremiah and Chalice have many clandestine meetings outside of the castle, while the descriptions are mild, the "sneak out after curfew" part will disturb a few readers. Once on the Lost One's boat, they are given a room to share, and they do take advantage of this repeatedly, fortunately, the readers are spared the bulk of the details. Magic becomes deeper and more of a black/white flavor. Chalice is not beyond cheating, lying, and bullying to achieve what she considers to be the "greater good" and her "birthright".

Melissa Douthit - The Raie'Chaelia

The Raie'Chaelia
The Legend of the Raie'Chaelia #1


by Melissa Douthit


Kindle Edition Available



Story Summary:
When Chalice sets off for Branbury in the middle of the night with her grandfather's instructions, she has no idea of the dangers that await her. The King's men have destroyed her home village of Canton and she is suddenly thrown into a Terravailian world that she does not know. Lost and alone, she is hard pressed to evade the iron grasp of the madman who rules the land. With the help of a friendly Chinuk, an old man, and a book that she discovers along the way, not only does she find true friends and true love, but she also finds her true self and what it means to be the Raie'Chaelia.

O.Scarlett! REVIEW by Rachel

          On the plus side - I enjoyed the premise of the story. It has a great plot with plenty of twists and turns and interesting new things to "see". There are ideas to ponder and several interesting characters. On the one hand, you can see a definite genius of an idea and some areas of the book were absolutely brilliant. The plot is entertaining enough to keep most teens and pop culture kids on the edge of their seats, and will keep most others at least curious to find out how they are going to solve several of the pressing problems that abound during the book.
          Sigh.
          It has so much potential.
          Really - I wanted to like the book, especially since I can relate to the authors background, and because there are several aspiring writers in my family as well. New authors deserve a fair shake and a good reading.
          BUT.
          This book needs a talented editor ... not for the grammar - I really didn't see very many blaring typos or grammar problems ... but to iron the rough spots.
          This book is like an nice party dress ... that got left in the dryer and nobody had time to iron. I'm sorry - but there it is. Maybe I've just spent far too much time helping edit papers and essays for my students.
          First I read all of the negative reviews - and I'll have to say I agree with them.

Conversations

          While over half of the conversations are well put together and flow well, there is the other half. Nearly a quarter of the conversations are what I call "news filler". (Meet John who had his house damaged by fire, he barely escaped with his life. Microphone goes to John, "Yeah, my name is John. My house burned to the ground and I barely escaped with my life." )

          I've got to learn how to take notes for reviews on my Kindle - so from memory, and I've only just finished reading this book, an example would be ....

          Chalice pondered what he said but didn't understand what Ben told her. "I don't understand Ben, what do you mean?" Chalice demanded. (remember, this is probably not verbatim in the book - just an example of a common tactic used in this book - hundreds of times.)

          Another good sized chunk of the conversations could have been left out completely. It adds nothing to the story, and sometimes is very out of character, distracting, or just makes them sound rude and self centered. Many times the adverbs at the end of the spoken words are what did the damage - you imagine the words spoken one way, only to have a completely different adverb applied .... saucily, sarcastically, angrily, demanded, or glared (for some examples).

Descriptions

           Some of them, many of them, maybe even most of them - are brilliant.

          And then there are the frequent duds:

          The horses forelock, mane, and tail were white as snow, and hung loosely across her forehead, neck, and rear end. (OK ... isn't that where a normal horse has their forelock, mane, and tail?)

          They brought the horses to the stream (river, pond, bucket of fresh water) and the horse dipped in his nose and drank his fill until he wasn't thirsty anymore. (don't most horses drink if they are thirsty and have been riding?)

          There are hundreds of these, and it can be quite annoying. At least I found it annoying to be told again and again the same detail. This made the book appear padded and forced to make a random "I gotta have so many words on my book report" feel.

Repetitive words and phrases

           The absolutely most annoying of these was the "she noticed". I rapidly came to dread Chalice having any time to look around. Because "she noticed" all the details. .... Rough paraphrased example from early on ....

          Chalice noticed that the door they emerged from was the strange cupboard that she had noticed the night before and wondered what it was. She noticed that Jeremiah had picked up (several adjectives) knife and place it (wherever). She noticed that there was a barrel with his saddlebags laying across it. Inside he was sliding (some object). He turned and she noticed that he had his favorite bow strung to his back. He was talented and had probably built it himself. She noticed that ....

Cliché and Borrowed Ideas

           This is not always a bad thing ... but

          This book abounds with them. Usually this is a sign of a well read, but armature author that has gotten "stuck". The book Eragon was like that too (and it got made into a movie!) This is not always a bad thing - after all, "there is nothing new under the sun". However, they should be used carefully and sparingly. And especially don't use them as filler to make a story longer, or as a gag to lighten an intense moment.

         There was only one real "love scene" in the book. And it sounded like the author had copied it verbatim out of a romance novel. Not that it would matter which one - nearly every romance novel has the "she was sucked into the brown pools of his eyes, his lips tasted like honey and his smell was uniquely his own."

Packing for a trip

           Chalice had no idea how to pack for a "quick get away". This girl was PACKED. No wonder Sunny couldn't outrun the bad men - Chalice must have had 30lbs in dresses and shoes with her - based on the number and variety of dresses mentioned in the text and the number of times she changed clothes. Although most of the time she wore her wonderful soft lambskin boots with soft lining to keep her feet toasty warm. Honestly, they didn't need to be described each time she put them on. ... She also had a thick book with her. Granted, it was important because of her birthmark ... but still ... that would have been heavy to carry when you are racing for your life! I'm probably exaggerating here - but I was really amazed at the number of times the girl changed her clothes and tossed the dirty ones in a corner to be laundered.

          Neither of them knew how to pack food. How in the world would they be running dangerously close to running out of food in only 4 days? Seriously. What did he eat on his 2 week hunting trips? How hard would it be to shoot something on their path for that matter. They really needed to learn to ration their food more carefully.

Info Dumps

           Somebody else mentioned these on Amazon. And there are a LOT of them. Usually top secret information that Jeremiah would take copious notes about inside his notebook. Secret info there. He got captured and barely came out alive - what if all that info fell into enemy hands? If I had been Ben - I would have burned it, or at least forbidden him to write secret info down in it.

Flip Flops between Future/Present

           This one left me dizzy - even though she "explains" this in the next book - I found it tacky to constantly be pulling our modern foods, animals, words, and more into this extreme distant future. Even if they DID still speak English, it would have changed. They would have different words to say than "cool". In the middle ages, youngsters ran around saying "Verily" and "Forsooth" and such. For me at least - this didn't make the story comfortable - and drug it over into the "cheap trick" category.

          I did appreciate the way she handled the sea voyage - the animals has similar names, but slightly different. It sounded like the people were descendants - not warped into the future with their history erased but vocabularies intact.

          Plus, this is an agrarian society. Yet the characters interact as if they were modern city kids. It is obvious that the author either has experienced big farm life, or is well read on the subject, but missed the closeness of a true agrarian society.

Basics about the World that can be confusing at first.

• There is a 28 hour day.
• This is the Earth of today - thousands of years in the future and after an ice age.
• The Earth spins backwards and has two moons.
• The people were underground when the second moon appeared, so they don't know how it got there. After the earthquakes, some people began to develop special powers, and eventually the people came back up to the surface to a lush green planet.

You do eventually learn this during the info dumps, but as they are easily skimmed over and missed, I'm putting them here.

Basic Plot Review ...

The introduction gives us a snapshot of a time some 18 years previous. Eventually you will figure out what this has to do with the rest of the book.

Genre/Theme: Fantasy, Post Apoctolyptical, Magic
Reading Level: Teen
Profanity: Moderately Low with some exclamations and language
Sexuality: Higher end of Subtle

Melissa Douthit - The Vanishing

The Vanishing
(Legend of the Raie'Chaelia, a Prequel)


by Melissa Douthit

Kindle Edition Available





Product Description (From Amazon)        
          For readers age 10 and up, The Vanishing, a short story prequel to The Raie’Chaelia, reveals Jeremiah’s story: the handsome, young champion archer and hunter who catches every girl’s eye. Pressured by his father to marry and settle down, Jeremiah makes other plans but something happens and he experiences a hard knock that he is not expecting. What is it and what does it mean for him? What are his plans and why isn’t he happy?
        
About the Author
          Melissa Douthit grew up in North County of San Diego, California. After graduating with a Computer Science degree in Southern California, and working for a summer at the National Radio Astronomy Observatory in New Mexico, she moved to the Bay Area to work at NASA Ames Research Center for a year and then at Lawrence Livermore National Lab for another four years. From there, she moved to Monterey, California, to work at the Naval Postgraduate School on a government project for two years. She currently lives in Salt Lake City, Utah, working with the Army Corps of Engineers on another government project. Since high school, she has been a voracious reader of books of all genres, with an emphasis in fantasy and science fiction. Her literary work is strongly influenced by her professional experience and includes many elements of her scientific background. You can find out more about Melissa on her website: Melissa Douthit's Blog


O.Scarlett! REVIEW by Rachel

 It's not a bad book. The story is clean and flows along well. There were a few moments of brilliance peppered between a great beginning and a great ending.

But it's not a great book either. I kept waiting for it to get interesting again once the mom showed up ... and it did, right as it ended. It is; however, a short story, so it can be read in an hour or two.
The conversations were flat - maybe if it was set in a more modern time and the boys were all pre-teens, but these were grown men acting like little boys. Not all of the conversations were this way, but most were just flat, and hollow. I never got a feel for any consistency of any of the characters - not even the main one. As I read about the mother, my brain picture rapidly developed into "Granny" from the Beverly Hillbillies.

The descriptions were full of tired and overused cliché wordings - most of it would have been better to have been left out. The plotline was a good story - peppered with tons of overused plot fillers and gags (gunpowder trailing across the floor and causing a major explosion .... really?) that just didn't seem to know when to stop.

Basically, an almost 21-year-old "boy" is going to enter an archery contest - which hasn't been won in years - there is a big reward. He's been practicing hard. He is also the youngest in the family, and his family wants him to get married and settle down with a girl down the way. But he wants to win the contest (of course he will - the foreshadowing is thick enough to cut with a knife) and go off searching for .... something.... and his parents are all mysterious about something ... how do they know the king?

He has 4 unmarried older brothers .... so why aren't they all married off? If it is the custom to marry at 21? How much older are they? It only tells us that there are two sets of twins.

And the farm scenes ... does a 21-year-old really need to be reminded to do his chores? Especially if the book has him posted as a hero and so very good at everything? His parents are constantly telling him to go do this or that. And being raised on a small farm, I found most of the farm discussions to be just a bit odd. The rooster was just way too much - but it did make me laugh ... first, because it is actually quite common for roosters to crow at strange times, and second because I couldn't fathom why they would keep a bad rooster just to make baby chicks ... were there not other roosters among the neighbors, did it not produce any male offspring? Tell me that the rooster had the best success at keeping his flock alive of any rooster in the valley ... that could warrant a rooster being saved from the stew pot!
          The great hunter hero, that just knows how to do everything (but is not liked by his older brothers, except maybe one) then goes to this fair - which reads like a combination of every Hollywood fair ever conceived from grade school get together to a typical State fair ... on a horse that struggles to make a turn because he's so fast and stops by a friends house where they blow up the place and put out the fire ... and in spite of everything he's already done that morning ... it's NOT yet 9am.
          Then there is the mystery girl .... which I found confusing ... he lived nearby or with her family from the time he was 9 to age 12, so his parents could take a trip with the older 4 boys ... and yet he couldn't remember her? The parents had been drummed up to be people who never went anywhere after they were married, suddenly this little jewel drops out. And why couldn't they take a 9 year old boy with them? It would have felt a lot less awkward had the boy been a LOT younger - like 3 or 4 ... and then he could be forgiven for having forgotten her. Even so, that again begs the earlier question - just HOW much older are the twins? Why were they not left behind as well?
It is likely that the author has this all worked out in her own head - but too often what is obvious to thinker is not nearly so obvious to the reader.

There are enough good spots, I'm sure younger teens would enjoy this book. But it is not for those of us that enjoy deep characters and page turning plots of original details. The plot does have quite a few promising and enjoyable twists and turns, and the main character is a likable fellow .... except when he is out of character, which happened quite a bit.

Notes:
          Upon being urged to continue reading the series ... I did so.  What I quickly realized is that this is not so much a prequel as it is an alternate beginning.

I would Highly Recommend ... FIRST read the first 2 chapters of The Raie'chaelia. But stop when you reach the point where Chalice is in the house and creams the tall handsome guy and throws him into the bookshelf.

THEN come read this as it fits very nicely into the slot there giving the story of the young man lying on the floor and stops at about that point and the two stories join for the remainder of the book, the Raie'chaelia. And it gives you background on the mystery girl so that it is far less strange for her to suddenly show up there.

A few other things that you should know, but wouldn't find out until well within the main book, is that the days are 28 hours long, and the earth now spins backwards. This is a book set in the extreme distant future, after a cataclysmic Ice Age. What I do not know is, how long is a year ... because if it is 365 days and 28 hours per day... our young 21 year old hero is MUCH older than his current 21 year old peers. I haven't stopped to do the math there yet.

I will say that I have mostly enjoyed the main book and I am glad that I have continued the series, and increasingly improved as she perused her trilogy. She has some interesting things in her story - but I'll review this book on it's own page.

Genre/Theme: Fantasy, Post Apoctolyptical, Magic
Reading Level: Teen
Profanity: Low - a few exclamations may concern some, but mostly will not be a problem
Sexuality: subtle
OTHER: While this book itself is a clean read, the next two books have more language, situations, and sexuality. There is talk of marriage, kissing, and similar topics, but it is mild and tactful.